Conscious Parenting - Are we connecting with our kids?
It’s the awareness that the parents need to be at the highest level of consciousness that they can possibly be to raise their child. By focusing on the parent, it asks the parent to raise themselves, the child within themselves, before they raise the child before them.
Conscious parenting is about letting go of our expectations and conditioned beliefs that are placed on our children. When we accept our children for who they really are, we give them the space to thrive. They learn to find their own voice and be their authentic self.
It teaches us
- To step back and be a guide in our child’s life.
- To listen more and talk less.
- To stop projecting our fears on our child.
- To stop making agendas.
- To stop fixing.
I have tried fixing my daughter a zillion times and felt disconnected with her. I am now trying a more conscious approach to connect with her. It is difficult and challenging but definitely more rewarding.
The other day my daughter Renaya (6 years old) came home from school and wanted to directly go to the park to play. There was a voice in me that wanted to straight up reject this idea. The story playing in my head was somewhat like this :
Renaya you have to freshen up first, eat something and then go to play in the evening. (My agendas)
How come you want to directly go to the park, aren’t you tired? (My projections)
That’s not the right thing to do, you cannot go to play at this time (2.30pm) of the day. (Cultural conditioning)
I am busy right now and want to finish some chores(not so important). (I am in total lack)
The other (conscious) voice in me was asking me:
What does Renaya really want right now?
Can you attune to her?
Can you for a change stop ‘doing’ and enter ‘being’?
Can you be in the present moment?
I dropped from my head into my heart. I let go of all my agendas. I took a pause and I told her that I will take her to the park. I saw her face light up. I could feel her energy. I could see the innocence. She took me with her and made me run bare feet, hang on the monkey bar and play hide and seek. I did go in my zone a couple of times thinking of the things I need to do after going home but she caught me and told me “Mama what are you thinking? Play with me.”
And just in that moment I realised how I am so used to being in the future, so busy in the doing that I miss connecting with my daughter.
Children teach us to slow down, be authentic and enjoy the little moments. But are we learning?
Written by Apurva - a certified conscious parent coach and mentor. For more details on conscious parenting, you can check her website www.parentunschooling.com
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Lattooland